The lights are low, spirits high, silence and anticipation fills the room. Suddenly, the spotlight shines its…uh…shining? light on a young man walking toward the podium. The crowd realizes its Travis Tell. The crowd goes wild! “Yay!” “Whooo!” “Oh yeah!” He reaches the podium, adjusts the microphone, and faces the crowd.
Travis: “Thank you, thank you! You’re too kind! Please, settle down. And ma’am, please put your shirt back on! Thank you!”
He prepares himself.
Travis: “As president of janitorial services, I am pleased to host this years, THIS SUMMER AWARDS!! The THIS SUMMER™ AWARDS are an annual event commemorating all the exciting and amazing things that I have experienced THIS SUMMER. But before we begin our look back at all my exciting moments let me first introduce my co-host, she starred in such works as Dear Emily, Divided, With You Forever, and this weeks blockbuster, You Knew All Along. She also starred in the smash hit, Tonight Will Be The Night That I Will Fall For You, Over Again. Please help me welcome the lovely, the enchanting, Emily Unknown!!”
Emily gracefully walks out from backstage, elegantly dressed in white. Pushing Travis aside, and grabbing the microphone.
Emily: “Thank you Travis for that kind introduction. You’re really too much, seriously…stop it, you’re hitting stalker potential already!”
Travis cleverly pulls out a wireless mic from his pocket.
Travis: “That might be so Emily, but I know you’re loving the attention! Now let’s announce the first award already!”
Emily: “Fine Travis! Now, the first award is…MOST KILLED TIME!! This award is given to the recreational activity that Travis wasted the most time this summer doing! The nominees are…Watching Naruto episodes!….Myspacing!….and…Blogging! And the winner is….”
Travis grabs the envelope from Emily.
Travis: “I will take that! It’s my turn to speak! Stick to the script!! okay…the winner of the MOST KILLED TIME AWARD is….BLOGGING! Yes, from the poems on WordPress, Gaia, and other things, I did not waste more time doing anything else than, blogging!”
*crowd applauds*
Travis: “Moving on…”
Emily: “That’s enough talking from you!”
Emily steals the wireless mic from Travis.
Emily: “Now the next award is…MOST UNEXPECTED MOMENT FROM A FAMILY MEMBER”
Travis’s voice rings once again out of the speakers.
Travis: ”And if we have to explain what that one is, leave now. The nominees are…!”
Emily appears shocked and turns around, Travis is talking into a headset mic.
Travis: “Hearing my grandma cus as we play the card game Bull Shit……Having a real sword fight with my dad, with tension rod and paintbrush extension…Watching my other grandma get really carried away with cheering on a wrestler on tv….and…executing a black ops mission with my dad and step-mom. Emily, will you do the honors?”
Emily: “How many mics do you have under there?”
Travis: “More than you could ever imagine! Now are you going to announce the winner?”
Emily: “Oh yeah, the winner is…naruto?”
Travis: “You weirdo, that’s the winner for most watched anime!! It’s the envelope that says Unexpected Family!!”
Emily searches through the pile of envelopes. Suddenly, a gust of wind blows away all the envelopes.
Travis: “How is this even possible, aren’t we inside?!”
Emily: “I don’t know, just grab an envelope!”
Emily and Travis begin reaching for envelopes.
Emily & Travis: Got one!
Emily: ok let’s just go with what we got.
Travis: But first, if my memory serves me right, the MOST UNEXPECTED MOMENT FROM A FAMILY MEMBER is…Watching my grandma get carried away while cheering on a wrestler on tv!!! Yes, she was standing up, arms raised, shouting for him to get up. Completely unexpected. Never knew she had it in her.
Emily looks at her envelope.
Emily: Ooooo…this is a good one. WORST MOMENT THIS SUMMER.
Travis: I’m glad you’re enjoying this, Emily.
Emily: Not enjoy, I find this interesting.
Travis: How interesting?
Emily: Very!…
Travis: Ok? Just announce the nominees!
Emily: Fine! Mr. Bossy Pants!
Travis: Mr. Bossy Pants? I don’t think that’s a nominee?
Emily: No! that’s you…*ugh* never mind!
Emily speaks with a monotone.
Emily: The nominees are, *gasp* Trying to let go of Emily…
Emily stares at Travis.
Travis: Emily? There are other nominees…hello? *waves hand in front of Emily* Emily? Em? Earth to Emily?! Wake up!! *ugh* Forget it. The nominees for WORST MOMENT THIS SUMMER are…Trying to let go of Emily…Moving…Grandmother’s hospitalization…and…finding out that Emily’s heart was broken by Caleb.
Emily gives a second gasp and leans into Travis’s chest, she appears unnerved. Travis tries to comfort her as he announces the winner.
Travis: The winner is…this is interesting. For the first time in history, there is a two way tie!! The winners are, Trying to let go of Emily and Discovering she was heart-broken. I believe we can all see why these two events are both equally bad. Now…
Emily looks at Travis, grabs his microphone, and steps back to the podium as if nothing had happened.
Emily: Well now that’s done with, that’s touching Travis but, you’ll never guess what I just did.
Travis goes to pull out another mic from his pocket, only to discover that there’s nothing there…Emily waves an extra mic in her hand.
Emily: Looking for this?! Why do you think I leaned into you? *giggles*
Travis then checks his other pocket, to find that one empty as well. Emily waves yet another mic in her other hand.
Emily: Another step ahead of you! You’ll have to try harder than that!
Travis runs off the stage.
Emily: Finally, now we can focus on me now! Ok the next award is, FAVORITE SONG OF THE SUMMER. This award pretty much speaks for itself. So without further delay, the nominees are…Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade…Good Enough by Evanescence…Lucky by Jasn Mraz and Colbie Cailet…How Six Songs Collide by Norwegian Recycling…Hope Only by Switchfoot…and…Maybe by Secondhand Serenade. The winner is….How Six Songs Collide by Norwegian Recycling!! *crowd applauds* Hope Only and Lucky came in a very close second and third, but why have one favorite song when you can have six! This remix cleverly puts together six great songs, each with its very own unique style to bring to the table. Wonderful song.
Emily looks around.
Emily: It seems Travis isn’t coming back, so let’s….
Suddenly, the sound of a phone ringing is heard throughout the building. Travis’s voice answers the call.
Travis: Thanks guys! Oh on the contrary Emily, you can’t get rid of me that easily!
Travis walks onto stage, talking into a Bluetooth earpiece. Emily stares at Travis, places one hand on her hip and one hand on the podium. She stares at him until he reaches the podium, then faces the audience with an annoyed smile on her face.
Travis: Are you ok Emily? You seem troubled? *smiles*
Emily: No Travis, everything is quite pleasant actually. *rolls eyes*
Travis: Well if you say so! Let’s get on with the show then. Tonight’s last, and certainly not the least, award is…THIS SUMMER’S GREATEST MOMENT…Finally, the moment is here to unveil this summer’s greatest moment, and we would like to remind the nominees that you are all winners!
Emily: Right you are Travis! Now the nominees for GREATEST MOMENT THIS SUMMER are…
Travis: The ride home from the Jabawockeez concert. This moment will be one to remember because, the stars were the brightest I’ve seen them in a while, probably since the meteor shower I watched when I was in middle school, I was riding in my uncle’s truck, I rode in the back or some call it the bed of the truck, and I had a pillow. The moon was full, the stars lit the night sky like you wouldn’t believe and the rushing feeling of riding in the back of a truck made everything so perfect for watching the stars. To make it even better, whenever the truck made a turn, it seemed like you were in those stargazing theaters where you lay on the ground and dots are shone on the ceiling to represent the stars and it starts turning to represent the earth’s rotation. Well, you know what i mean, it was dream like. I laid there with my favorite song playing on my PSP, my jacket keeping me warm, and my hood covering my head. This could very well possibly be the GREATEST MOMENT I’VE HAD THIS SUMMER…The next nominee for the GREATEST MOMENT THIS SUMMER is….
Emily: The first two weeks of summer. These weeks were filled with nothing but contentment. There was nothing Travis needed to do, he had all this time for himself to recuperate from a stressful school year. His parents, for some reason, didn’t bother him as much during this time and he was free to do everything and anything he wished. This could very well possibly be the GREATEST MOMENTS HE’S HAD THIS SUMMER…
Travis: Now the next nominee may not have been very significant to you Emily, but it was to me. The nominee is…talking to you on the phone. I remember sometime after the Jabawockeez concert, I called you to check up on things. We spoke for hours on end, and the entire time, I couldn’t stop smiling. We talked about everything, got some issues cleared up, made jokes, and I enjoyed the sound of your voice every second. We laughed, we got scared, we told stories, we got confused, it was perfect. I’m a sucker for sentimentality, and this moment I will keep with me forever. That had to be the GREATEST MOMENT THIS SUMMER…
Emily smiles. Travis smiles back and opens the envelope. They read it together.
Travis & Emily: And the winner…….will be announced right after this commercial break….
Camera fades out to a deodorant commercial.
Speaker: We know what makes you sweat! Degree for girls. For Every OMG Moment!!
Camera fades back to the awards, where Switchfoot is finishing up their song “Only Hope”. Travis and Emily return to the stage.
Emily: I LOVE YOU JON FOREMAN (lead singer)!!! *screams*
Travis: Good to know Emily is still as much of a teenage girl as ever.
Emily & Travis: Now the winner of GREATEST MOMENT THIS SUMMER is….TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH EMILY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!
Balloons fall from the ceiling, a mass chaos of confetti is set loose upon the crowd, and a disco ball is lowered down from the stage. Creating a cool effect with the light bouncing of the confetti, making the appearance of falling stars.
Travis: Much deliberation was set about the winner, but in the end, the ride home could have only won, if Emily was there.
Emily: On behalf of our sponsors, C.R.A.K. Industries, M.& m J.J.A.C.K.K.I.R.s Ultd., and the South Harmon Institute of Technology, we would like to Thank You all for coming and SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!
Travis: As a treat, we have gathered six bands to perform the song How Six Songs Collide. They have agreed to perform here tonight, on one condition, we make an exit like no one has ever seen before. Ladies and Gentlemen, Please welcome: Jason Mraz, Howie Day, Five For Fighting, Angela Ammons, Boyzone, and Three Doors Down!! *crowd goes wild*
A staircase rises behind them that leads to nowhere. Travis and Emily climb the staircase and put on safety harnesses. Travis and Emily reach up and grab two ziplines. They connect themselves and zipline to the back of the room and out the door. The bands begins to play, How Six Songs Collide.
2 Comments
August 9, 2008 at 11:21 pm
I love it!!! It’s like super duper-ie awesome!!
Just so you know..
I really did gasp!! at the Caleb breaking my heart thing. :O
I think talking to you was just as significant to me as it
was to you. OMG!! That was what I was trying to tell
you earlier but I couldn’t find the words to describe it!
or like yeah!! I like totally blanked out..I’m glad talking on
the phone won the greatest moment of the summer.
Love,
EmilyUnknown
August 11, 2008 at 9:09 pm
/me laughs and thanks Travis for her invite
This is so cool. I don’t know how you manage to come up with all this stuff. It is hilarious. And brilliant.
/me laughs some more.
And sweet. Definately worth the wait.
And my comment isn’t an essay this time, please note : P